Rivals ask Tech to get all the way turnt[sic] down

Many Tech football fans fondly remember the evening of Oct. 17, 2009, when some 55,000 fans at Bobby Dodd Stadium got “All The Way Turnt[sic] Up” to the tune of the popular hip-hop single by Travis Porter and later by Roscoe Dash.

Tech, of course, collectively turnt[sic] it up even higher as the team progressed to the ACC title and a berth in the FedEx Orange Bowl, and the entire campus has remained turnt[sic] up since the end of the year.

Months later, with spring football practice finally underway, Jackets fans are as turnt[sic] up as ever in anticipation for the upcoming season—and several of Tech’s rivals claim to have had enough. On Tuesday, March 30, the Athletic Association received an official petition signed by representatives from a number of different universities requesting that the Jackets turn down the volume.

This is nothing new, according to Athletic Director Dan Radakovich.

“We’ve been receiving requests like this from individuals at these universities since late last season,” Radakovich said. “It’s kind of hypocritical, really. I think our success has earned our players and fans the right to be swaggin’ to the max.”

Many of the requests were anonymous, but the person who headed the petition revealed himself to be prominent Virginia Tech booster Turk E. Breaston, who cited personal damages.

“[October 17th] was the first time I had visited Bobby Dodd Stadium. I figured, well, it’s a small stadium, how loud can it be?…I had no idea what these people were capable of. They were cranking it to the max all night. I rolled up the window of our luxury box, and they just turnt[sic] it up even more. I’ve suffered from migraine headaches ever since,” Breaston said.

A handful of members of Virginia’s marching band claimed to have joined the movement.

“We thought we’d be able to avoid the storm since we were playing at home, but no. Their band was turnt[sic] up even in our own stadium. It was ridiculous,” said Mark Ching, a trombone player at UVA.

Several Miami supporters signed on, claiming that only one ACC school would be turnt[sic] up in 2010.

“They ought to be quiet before it’s too late,” said one Hurricane fan who signed under the pen name “Da U”. “Next year is our year. If they don’t turn it down, The U will do it for them, because we’re back.”

As expected, Georgia fans played a leading role. The majority of emails to various outspoken individuals were either not returned or were returned with unintelligible responses.

“The nerds can’t talk about nothin’. We run this state. 30-24! Georgia’s the ACC Champs! Go Dawgs! Woof woof!” said longtime UGA fan Berrian Noyin.

In reaction to the joint request, some groups voiced their support for the Jackets. Members of the Marietta, Ga.-based Wheeler High School basketball team, which appears in the All The Way Turnt[sic] Up music video, said that Tech should just use this as fuel to turn up the volume even more.

If students’ reactions are any indication, Tech should remain turnt[sic] up for the foreseeable future.

“I’m waiting until someone who has lots of dollars tries to pay us to turn it down,” said second-year AE Riddick Youlas. “They’ll be blowing stacks trying to win us over, and it won’t work. Do not turn us down; it’ll just turn us up.”

When approached for comment, Tech head football coach Paul Johnson was unaware of the situation but laughed on hearing the details.

“What is going on? Oh, I don’t really know,” Johnson said. “All I can say to the fans is if anyone won’t stop complaining about the noise, just turn it up even higher—or just punch them in the face. Either way, we win.”