Is change ever an easy thing? Sometimes it can be exciting, but standing before a cliffside of unknowns tends to be intimidating.
Decisions and choices, the path forward, all of it makes me feel like I’m Indiana Jones in the Last Crusade movie where he has to have faith that there is a path before him as he endeavors to walk across a great divide.
I don’t really know if I’m as brave as Indiana Jones, or maybe it’s not a lack of bravery, but a lack of faith that were I to step off of solid ground, that my feet would not fall through empty air.
As I go into my last semester at Tech, everything feels like some great big decision I must make and it’s all too easy to stand in one place like a deer in headlights rather than possibly make a decision.
I’m worried about making the best decision, the right decision, the decision that will make me happy.
That too, makes things more confusing, wanting to be happy. I want to be happy wherever this next chapter finds me but I’m not sure what will make me happy. Do you know what will make you happy? I’m still trying to figure that out.
What I do know is that I wouldn’t be where I am without the people in my life, without the friends and family who picked me up when I messed up, when I put too much pressure on myself, when I tried to do too much.
I wouldn’t be where I am without the advice and kindness of the people who love me, who are willing to sit with me in my indecision, worry and anxiety.
I think these looming life choices are intimidating because so much of our lives we have been told that this is what we live for: to get a good job, to have security, to have certainty.
Except, those things aren’t absolute. What is a stable job worth if the company isn’t focused on equity and inclusion? What is certainty worth if it takes the joy of adventure with it?
All of these changes and decisions that I find myself facing now and for the next year, they don’t have to be so overwhelming. These things should be exciting, not terrifying.
I think I’ve given this time of decision a bit too much power over me and the rest of my life but the worst thing that can come from it all is that I am still loved.
Still worthy of being known. Still free to find joy and happiness, free to take longer than the person next to me, to make less money than someone else, to do whatever it is I will do because it’s my life.
The worst that could happen is that I move at my own pace, that I forge my own path, that I live my own life.
That’s not too bad if you ask me, I want to live my life, not the person next to me.
There are no comparisons to be made here because you are you and I am me and that is a beautiful and exciting thing.
So, as you face the road ahead, wherever you go, whatever you choose, it will be beautiful because it will be you.