An ode to bingewatching television

Photo by Elliott Brockelbank

If you have ever read one of my editorials before, you know I watch too much television. But lately, I have noticed my television watching habits have changed.

Before, I would gladly await a new episode or season — the wait was half the fun. I would read reviews and blogs, discuss my ideas with my friends, family and let’s face it, people who did not care about the show as much as I did.

Basically, a television show was a season long hobby.

Now, though, its a day long hobby. A week max.

I love watching old shows on Netflix. I love bingewatching multiple seasons so much, I’ve looked into what it takes to be a caption writer, just so all I have to do in life is watch television for hours. (Sidenote: it turned out to not be that great of an opportunity. The more you know…)

But the posting of past seasons is not the exact reasons my television watching habits changed. I used to be able to watch three seasons of The Tudors in one week, and still care later about the newest episode of How I Met Your Mother or Parks and Rec, but not anymore.

House of Cards completely changed the way I view television. And no, I am not talking about Kevin Spacey’s delightful breaking of the fourth wall. I am saying that dropping an entire season of television Beyonce-style, is what every show needs to do.

I know, those were extreme words, but I as serious about this as I am about adding wild animals to soccer games to make them more exciting or convincing Starbucks to sell Diet Coke. (Hint: this means I am uber serious; not stopping animal cruely serious but still.)

Let me give you an example; I have now watched Mad Men for seven years. Seven years of my life I have wasted worrying about Peggy’s awful taste in clothing and Don’s awful taste in women.

Usually, I loved the hiatuses and breaks in seasons. They gave me a chance to reread every Slate article about Roger’s womanizing ways and rewatch every episode. I viewed watching Mad Men like solving a puzzle from 1964.

But this past season, when it ended abruptly after the lunar landing, I was not happy. I was not excited for the next half season in 2015. I was mad. I was irritated. I wanted to watch all the episodes now, on my time, probably at 3am when I should have been asleep.

I wanted to watch Mad Men the same way I watched both seasons of House of Cards — all at once until I could here Frank Underwood’s Southern drawl chastising me in my sleep.

So let’s do it. Let’s end cable and satellite and all the rest. I am calling for a revolution, a chance to watch television like movies, a chance to make everyday a day for bingewatching.