Common-sense rules for getting around

Getting from Point A to Point B on Tech’s campus is a dangerous activity that requires a good amount of caution. To remedy our poor traffic situation, I will address various groups and their methods of getting around on Tech campus in the hopes that maybe someone out there will learns something useful and stop being dumb.

Pedestrians: I sympathize with this group the most, but I also find them to be some of the stupidest people on campus. When crossing a road, a pedestrian has the right of way, and I am sure everyone knows it. But why not look left and right when one is about to go into a crosswalk? I have seen a distracted student or someone on his cell phone casually walk across from the Love building towards the residential areas on West campus without looking around first. There is a three way stop sign with cars literally going in five directions and people just start walking.

I am not saying to stop for cars and indicating for all vehicles in front of one to go, but it is also in a person’s best interest to want to you know, live. There is no victory from getting run over and screaming “Got you! See you in court!” while your bloodied body is on the ground. Look left and right before crossing the street and make a fair judgment.

Also, to those who choose to make the illegal life choice to jaywalk, please do not do it in such a way that will obviously endanger everyone on the road (at least more than the usual jaywalking). On Spring St., it is common to see people underestimate the speeds of cars and attempt to cross when it is still a green light for oncoming cars. They think these cars are going 10 MPH when they are in fact going 40 MPH or more. The solution? Be better at estimating speeds of cars and be better at valuing life.

Bikers: bikers get an unfair reputation because of a few bad ones on the road, but since this column is complaining about the poor examples of groups, I will single out those bad ones. I have seen multiple people bike from Tech Square to the Physics building while on the sidewalk and on the opposite side of the road. These people are some of the biggest morons on campus. Is the bike path not good enough? Do people feel superior because now they have the power to run people over as opposed to being the potential victim? I wish these unfortunate bikers no punishment, because whatever happened to these peoples’ brains to make them think this is a good idea is something that will be present for a lifetime.

So to bikers, just use some common sense. When there is a wide road or slow moving vehicles or extremely narrow sidewalk, please stay on the road. When there is a bike path, please use it.

Drivers: The most dangerous people on the road because they are in vehicles that can run over a squirrel and not feel or hear it. My main complaint is about the ones who do not know the meaning of a four-way stop sign. It is like a line that people have to wait in to go. These drivers think that the stop behind the next car is enough of a stop to merit going whenever. Tip: it’s not. Stop signs are meant for stopping, not POTS spelled backwards on a red octagon.

Scooters and Segways: I think your life choices are worse than your choices on the road.

People who only take the trolley and buses: My favorites are the small graduate students, often the ones who consider opening a door to the Cyntergy building to be the most strenuous physical exercise of the day, suddenly turning into Usain Bolt the minute they see a trolley. I once saw someone come out of the corner of Techwood and Ferst and sprint to the bus stop in front of the baseball stadium…only to get off in front of the Nanotech building.

My only request is that people stop complaining about the inefficiency of the bus system. I have heard tons of IE’s proclaim that they will fix our bus system. Guess what? Still not fixed or changed for the better. I do not know if that speaks more about our students or about Tech’s program. I will go with the former.

These are just a small list of complaints I have about the traffic situation on campus. Am I a petty man? Of course. Do I complain about things that have no possible resolutions? Without a doubt. Am I a small man? In both stature and character, yes. Still, if any of these things were to be fixed, we might be able to make Tech a safer place. Except for that whole crime situation, but let us just ignore that.