It was all fun and games until my buddy quietly uttered, “Dude, just go for it.”
I looked over at the two girls studying at the table next to me and a wall of fear hit me. I felt my ego shrink and the giggling duo seemed to grow horns and breathe fire. Somehow, I mustered the will to speak.
“Hey you guys. It looks like you two like to laugh. Th-that’s cool. We like to laugh too,” I stammered, instantly regretting my lame line.
The girls donned their best MTV ‘whatever’ faces and said nothing. I pressed on. “We should go out sometime. C-can I get your numbers?”
They looked at each other again and grimaced. Finally one of them said “Wow. Um….. NO.”
It was one of the most awkward and uncomfortable moments of my life. But somewhere in the gloom I felt pride. Pride that I had just overcome immeasurable anxiety and hit on two sorority princesses.
That afternoon embarrassment marked the beginning of a wild adventure. My buddy and I each hated our lonely inner nerds and were on kamikaze missions to destroy them and become the ladies’ men that we dreamed of being. It wasn’t easy.
We came up with crazy plans to talk to girls. For example, we would voyage to Emory just to ride their shuttle for hours, forcing conversation on the unfortunate passengers. It was kind of like going to class, except with a new professor ever fifteen minutes. Over time we went from being creepy to mildly charming, and the numbers and dates finally started to come.
In the 5+ years since that day in the library, I have managed to date some absolutely wonderful and gorgeous women. It has been mind-blowing, especially since I started out as a mumbling nerd who pointed out to girls that ‘we like laughter too.’
Growing up, I identified with the logical side of life where math and science just makes more sense. But when it comes time to shop for a mate: it is clearly not about logic.
I thought of myself as a pretty normal Tech student. Most of my friends didn’t have girlfriends, nor did they have the slightest clue how to ‘get’ one. For the most part, talking to women was an exercise in pain and emotional wrath. Sound familiar?
What does this say about Tech students? Aside from the Greek community, it seems we are lacking completely in social training.
Graduates leave this school like engineering-programmed robots, carrying the nerd flag higher into the lonely future.
It doesn’t have to be this way. We could be robots with cute girlfriends. Let’s get started. First, we must decide to make a change. The definition of stupid is to do the same things over and over and to expect different results. We’re not stupid yet we have no girlfriends, so we must change.
That means breaking out of the comfort zone we have around us. Explore who you are. Now is the time to grow out your hair or pierce your ears or paint your fingernails…not when you graduate and work for that big firm.
Secondly, dress and hygiene are extremely important. Countless women have told me so. Wear nice clothes and take care of your hygiene. That means wearing deodorant, flossing your teeth, washing your hair and wearing cologne.
If you think you can’t afford nice clothes, you’re wrong. I just bought two genuine Giorgio Armani shirts from the Salvation Army across from Tech for $5.00 (and there were more to choose from).
Thirdly, and most importantly, get out there and try. Believe it or not, Atlanta was just announced as the #4 best city in America for single adults by Forbes. That’s higher than Chicago, San Diego, and Miami, to name a few. There’s no reason not to capitalize on that.
Here’s a good place to start: take two weeks, and for every single day, force yourself to speak to a girl you’ve never met before. Don’t worry so much about the reason you are talking to her (that’s a logical guy thing), it’s really not important. Instead, pay attention to her comfort levels and to her emotions.
Embarrass yourself. Fail miserably. Who cares? This is not for a grade but it is for your life.